Happy New Year! 2009 will be an amazing year — & a year full of change. You. It’s exciting to think about life with you in it.
Christmas was very nice & busy, visiting family & friends.
For 2009 — I wish for you an amazing life full of travel, learning, friends & family. I hope all your dreams come true — “life is short” your grandfather always says. Live it to its fullest.
We saw you on Wednesday, March 4, my 33rd birthday. We saw your face, your spine, your heart beating, your diaphragm, your stomach, your bladder, your arms and hands, and your legs and feet. Your feet — as I expected — are facing down right now, kicking away at my bladder. I had been feeling movement down there and sure enough I saw you kicking strong. I feel you moving every day now. It’s surreal to think you formed inside me from cells to a human. I’m amazed by you.
Retreading an old journal about my summer on the road makes me think of the past and my youth and what I didn’t know then about how things would turn out with everyone. Worried about finding a place to live [in LA]. I should have just relaxed and enjoyed it all. I start crying b/c all of that is over — the sense of aliveness and adventure. Now I’m becoming a mom and a new type of adventure awaits.
I hardly write in here anymore because of the journal I’m keeping for the baby. Almost two weeks away from the “due date” — it’s been a very anxious time. I’ve cried almost every day for the past 2-3 weeks. Some cries are for no apparent reason; some are for the uncertainty of what’s ahead, you coming, me becoming a mother, us becoming a family.