I hardly write in here anymore because of the journal I’m keeping for the baby. Almost two weeks away from the “due date” — it’s been a very anxious time. I’ve cried almost every day for the past 2-3 weeks. Some cries are for no apparent reason; some are for the uncertainty of what’s ahead, you coming, me becoming a mother, us becoming a family.
How life is going to change, be changed — forever — and this scares and excites me, but it is life and I must remind myself of the experience of this experience, of this time, of feeling oh so alive, and human, and that my body is meant to do this in every way and you instinctly will know what to do too, the way you must move through me to get to me unlike (more than) any lover I’ve ever had,, you know me from the inside and for this I will always love you. You are a part of me, no one else can say that, claim that my child. Soon, my son or my daughter.