Needing a day to immerse myself in research, and I don’t have time.
I want to break the mold.
Feeling sad today. My last day here and my emotions are mixed. I don’t want to go home; I’m ready to go home and see Mike + Belle + feel normal; I wish was staying here until Sunday. Of course, I have regrets already. I wonder how I’ll feel when I am back home — that life sort of stopped while I was here.
I drive my obsessions into Synge, my thesis, Front Porch, and the new semester.
Writing the S poems makes me feel like a bad wife. How to produce art without thinking of one’s reality. Wondering how this thesis will get finished. Just hoping I like it.
Finished a draft of my thesis today. It felt good to have something complete. I know it will change in the next few months, but at least I have something to work with.
Now I have grading and PhD app left to complete.
Mike is back home until Monday. I feel very un right now — unexcited about most things. How to feel a pit in my stomach.