Journal 16: October 12, 2004-March 4, 2008

#16 10/12/04 -- 3/4/08

#16 10/12/04 — 3/4/08

This journal contains some of the most significant experiences of my life: meeting my husband, moving to Texas to write, marrying my husband, writing my book of poems. Since I kept this journal while I was a graduate student in poetry, much of it contains ideas for poems; many entries are more poetry than prose.

It’s interesting that the journal begins with me depressed in Chicago, absolutely through with men and the dating scene and ends with me married in Austin about to move back with my husband and thinking about having kids. Less than four years from here to there, letting go of you while writing about you and moving on with Mike and finding happiness.

I became giddy again rereading the pages where I fall in love with Mike. Remembering how he appeared and never left, how he’s been with me since that night in November when I walked into the Lennox Lounge and my life changed in an instant. Now he has given me two gorgeous boys who I love more than I thought was possible. My loves. All of them.

How life changes in an instant without us knowing it. Looking back, I realize how everything fits together, how in a way it was meant to be. Wait, I thought I stopped believing in fate. This project makes me reconsider. The almost perfection of imperfection. Of things turning out differently. I tried to plan. I thought I had life figured out. Then…

Click here to read the last entry of my 16th journal.


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