23 August 2010

First day back today, it really felt like I never left. It was sort of a depressing day — realizing how much work I put into this project [the publication I advise] — & how no one cares. And I still have 4 different classrooms — which is insane.

I’m already sick of it all — & we haven’t even started. I hope tomorrow — meeting my actual students will be better — make me realize why I do all this. I’ve been essentially working all summer without them in isolation. I feel very under appreciated.

This morning I woke up to Pearl Jam’s “Elderly Woman Behind the Counter”: “I just want to scream Hello — my god it’s been so long never dreamed you’d return — but here you are and here I am” and I thought of the simple years, lying in parks with Dan — & I realize that in some ways, yes, it doesn’t get much better. And then, of course, to you, always.

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