I feel big already in this pregnancy & I’m only 18 weeks. Wondering how it will feel to have a baby again, go through all that & thinking about work. What I’m doing & how I might feel next fall — & beyond. Trying to predict. A lack of money, less money. 2 kids. And how I can’t imagine my life without Noah in it. And his sibling inside me, unknown but soon I will feel the same about. It’s all so strange & lovely.