16 January 2013

January half over with. Always a good thing. Cold  & depressing. Winter in Chitown.

Read some strong 1984 essays by my students. Makes me happy I taught the book even though it was painful at times.

Thinking about the machine again lately, wondering how I got myself here. Wondering what’s the way out. Read about this man & his wife & his 4-year-old son who sold everything and are traveling and living out of their RV. I’m so jealous. To drop out like that. I don’t think I could do it. Dropping out now is almost impossible — mortgage, healthcare, kids, school. What I did @ 22 was different — to have that time back! I wonder how they manage. He must have $ from his old job. How can you travel w/ a child w/out healthcare? Of course, too, it makes me think of white privilege & how an idea like this only occurs to people from a place of privilege who become disgusted by their over-consuming lives, they buy an RV and wander aimlessly. This disgusts me too. So then I’m caught back up in it, wondering about the meaning of life. Thinking about death a lot lately — afraid of what’s to come. I distract myself like a prole, busy myself with work.

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4 thoughts on “16 January 2013

  1. I think about my 20s and how much more I could have taken advantage of that magical decade. I can’t wait to encourage my boys to have adventures and push themselves. I know you will too. Maybe we’ll visit them in their surf shack in Mexico…

    • Totally. It is a magical decade; I wonder if that will come across when I get to that time period in my journals. Probably not. It’s the hindsight that makes it seem that way now, how life changes. When we were in it, we were crazy and depressed half the time.

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